The push for optimised information transfer and its effect on casual conversation

“If you were on a Subway Takes reel (with NYC icon, Kareem), what would your ‘hot take’ be?”

This is my go-to icebreaker at the moment. It’s been so fun to ask this question, because you get a glimpse into what’s been on a person’s mind. And everyone I’ve asked has answered so differently, so it’s good to know we’re still capable of original thought (for now).

I’ve got plenty of ‘hot takes’; like how you shouldn’t have a custom numberplate if you’re a bad driver, or how we should call a PhD a D-Phil (like MPhil) because there’s less syllables. But my main take goes something like this:

Over the past few decades there’s been a massive shift in how we communicate and share information. And it can be attributed to a combination of digital media, globalisation, late-stage capitalism, and all the other wonderful* things that make us yearn for simpler times.

But more recently, short form content has become very popular. And I think it’s given us a warped model of what communication should be.

A lot of content out there is rehearsed, and creators do multiple takes before they share the best one with the world. There’s time to think and plan how to best communicate an idea before you actually do. And I think this is a hugely important skill. But I also think this is affecting the nature of casual conversation.

For example, I’m all for optimised information transfer in professional settings. If you’re an established coworker sending an email related to a task that needs completing, by all means, cut out the fluff and get straight to the point. We really don’t need to “hope you’ve had a lovely weekend” or “let me know if you have any questions”. Or if you are public speaking/presenting something, by all means, have a think on how you can best get your point across and make use of your audience’s time. Being able to communicate in an effective yet concise manner is crucial in our society.

However, this underlying push for productivity and maximal efficiency is seeping into domains it shouldn’t – like casual conversation. I first noticed this chatting with a friend (you know who you are ;). I deeply love and care for this person, but damn she’s got that undiagnosed ADHD bad. I was recounting something – and keep in mind, I’m not the most articulate person. I frequently stumble over words and often struggle to find the right ones to verbalise my thoughts. So, I was recounting this experience and I could very much see from her facial expressions, body language and overall jitteriness that she wanted me to ‘get to the point’. As soon as I noticed that, I began to stumble and struggle with my words even more. This could have equally been justified by her having one too many coffees that day, but I’ve noticed it’s a pattern that extends across conversations with all kinds of people and contexts.

This general ‘get to the point’ attitude carries itself into so many situations; like when ChatGPT gives you a 600 word essay on something that could have easily been answered in a sentence or two, or when your established coworker takes forever to tell you what they really need done.

Yes, sometimes we should all just get to the point a little faster, but we shouldn’t in casual conversation. Some of the best chats I’ve had have been filled with silences and gaps for truly comprehending what the other has just said. It goes forwards and backwards, and you say things that you instantly regret or things that are poorly worded, but through the back and forth you eventually come to a common understanding. The richness of conversation lies in the fact that we don’t come into it with rehearsed, predetermined sound bites. We don’t simply exchange perfectly crafted packets of information until it’s time to go home. We sit in discomfort, and misunderstanding, and try our best to transport whatever gnarly thought is in our brain into our shared space, so that it can then enter someone else’s brain and hopefully mean something.

Good conversations are like jazz. You’ve got a theme, and there should always be room for improv. There are some rules you should follow, like taking turns, and actively listening (as opposed to simply waiting for your turn to speak). But most importantly, there are no wrong notes. And just like how there’s no optimised way to jazz, there should be no pressure to optimise your conversation. So please don’t (subconsciously) expect verbal interactions to feel like an ensemble following carefully composed sheet music.

I’ve really stretched the analogy here, so this is the key takeaway:
I just want to be able to have genuine chats. No pressure to get my words right, no rush to get to a shared understanding, no push for optimised information transfer.

PS. I am deeply aware of the irony in my own hot take – I’ve shared this perspective many times now that it’s become a revised, optimised version of information transfer in and of itself. And this final-form blog article doesn’t show the amount of times I’ve backspaced, shuffled or reworded something. But still, my point stands.
Also, side note, I drafted this in Word and the amount of times it’s given me suggestions for ‘conciseness’ – like damn let me live and have liberty in my literary choices lol.